Ethical Sluts have more fun
Coupledom is SO last year
Choose happiness, Choose Poly
Multiples R Us
The Cook, His Wife, Her Lover and Her Lover's Lover
Lovin' More = More Lovin'
Have your cake and eat it, too
It's Alright, My Lover Knows
This first two and the last two are my favorites . . . I don't know if I will have a chance to help out, cuz I'm busy packing today and moving tomorrow. It kinda sucks having to move over pride weekend, I will have to miss many of the festive activities such as the dyke march ... luckily it has cooled down quite a bit, if the weather was like how it has been the past few days I think we would have died . . .my bro who is moving in to my apartment lives around dundas and sherbourne on the fourth floor of a house. He has to move all of his stuff down four flights of stairs and then drive way out of his way to avoid the march. It is going to be bad enough I'm just so happy that it is no longer 40 degrees out there.
I told a friend the other day that I was poly and he said why don't you just say open relationship, that is a excellent question, sadly we were interupted my a friend singing "let's talk about sex" on stage so I didn't get to tell him why so I will do it here. The idea of being poly is that it is an identity (ah oh identiy politics) it is a way of seeing yourself and a way fo viewing relationships. That is you can be celibate and still identify as poly. I find a big difference between open relationships and poly relationships is the level of honesty. This is not a cut a dry situation but the point of poly is that you have the support of your partner or partners in exploring other relatioships and you discusse what each others comfort levels are in that exploration. Plus in a poly relationship you can be deeply intamate with more than one person, its not all about sex.
Often open relatiohsips mean that you can sleep with other people and thats ok, often it is not talked about as much, and usually it does not involve being in love with more than one person.
Here is a rough copy of the flyer we are putting together:
What is Polyamory?
Polyamory, also called ethical non-monogamy, is the belief that humans are naturally able and happy to love multiple people.
Is it like having an affair or cheating?
No. The fundamental position of polyamory is honesty and openness. While the amount of detailed information about a partner's other relations is highly variable in the polyamory community, if it isn't done with a partner's knowledge, it isn't polyamory.
Is it all about sex?
No, it's certainly not all about sex. Sex is a part of many polyamorous relationships, but most polyamorous people would not be interested in sex-only relationships. Polyamory literally is about "love" for multiple people, not sex, which is polysexuality.
How do you deal with jealousy?
Some polyamorists don't get jealous at all, they are happy to see their partners happiness with other partners. There's even a word to describe this: compersion. Others do struggle with jealousy, but feel that the benefits of polyamory vastly exceed and justify the challenges.
Is it like polygamy or swinging?
The most general interpretation of polyamory includes these categories, but most polyamorous people are uncomfortable with the associations because polyamory is more focused on love and equality.
Is it group sex?
Some polyamorists engage in group sex, but most people are more conventional in their sexual activities - the difference being that it is done with the knowledge and support of their partners.
Is polyamory part of the GLBT community?
Polyamory exists across the whole spectrum of sexual orientation. There are gay, lesbian, bisexual, and gender-queer polyamorists. Many polyamorists feel "queer", even if their relationships are "straight", because of the criticism that we face due to our unconventional views related to sex and relationships. However, polyamory isn't necessarily embraced by the GLBT community any more than the straight community because it goes against the couple-oriented social convention to which some lesbian and gays aspire.
Where do I get more information?
Ethical Lovers Group
The Ethical Lovers Group is a support and discussion group that meets at the University of Toronto Women's Centre the second Wednesday of every month from 19:30-22:00. The Women's Centre is located at 563 Spadina Road just north of the College Street intersection.
Toronto Poly Social
The Toronto Poly Social group is a social and discussion group that meets at the Village Rainbow restaurant the third Sunday of every month except December from 20:00-22:00. The Village Rainbow is located at 447 Church Street, just south of the Wellesley Street intersection. For more information see www.bcholmes.org/poly/tpsg.html
Hamilton Poly Social
The Golden Horseshoe Social group is a social and discussion group that is just starting up. Notice is published on the TorontoPoly mailing list (see above).
Guelph Poly Social
There is also a group in Guelph.
Ottawa Poly Social
There is an Ottawa Poly group. More information at www.polyamory.org/SF/Groups/obpd.html
There are several poly groups in New York state.
There have been recent articles in FAB, Xtra, and Now discussing the extension of marriage to the polyamory community.
Polyamorists often find community on the Internet even where there is no community available in physical space. There are many resources available on the web. Here are some initial pointers:
www.polyamory.org (includes lists of groups)