not a pretty girl

a new person with each new experience

Friday, July 25, 2003

I get the day off work

Ok its not as fun as it might seem, this morning on my way to work I got into a bike accident. Don't worry the bikes OK! I was riding east on Eglinton and as I started to bike through the intersection of Islignton and Eglinton I noticed the car taking a right turn didn't see me at all. I hit my breaks hard and turn by tire to the right in a futile attempt not to have a collision. Yet I smashed into her car and flew backwards off my bike, I crashed on my left side and fell onto back. Thank goodness I was wearing my helmet. We all have AB to thank thank for that. A month ago when we went out for dinner for the first time, I didn't have my helmet with me, she said she was disappointed and said that I lost 10 points!!! I can't afford to lose ten points, especially alread on the first date damn! So from that day forth I pulled my helmet that I had already packed and became addicted to wearing it, even if I was only giong down the street. Ok back to the accident, I was in shock and it took awhile for me to be able to get up, a women had called 911, and this off duty EMS officer just happened to be drivnf by, so before long I was surrounded by fire fighters albulance workers police and so on. the off duty officer helped me up, he also talked to 911 opporator and said we hava bravo. I can only assume that ment that I was ok. I told everyone what they wanted to hear, I didn't hit my head, my neck and back isn't sore, I don't feel any tingling or numbness. After I satisfied the EMS workers and called my work, the shock started to wear off and suddenly I realized how much pain I was in. This moment and the next random moment where my mom just happened to drive by started a streamline of tears. There is something about a mom being there that causes one to cry. I mean I coudl have easily dealt with the situation, not shown any signs of weakness and delt with the emotions later on in a more safe space. But mom being on the scene allowed those emotions to surfice right then and there.

Then the cops started there report, and it became clearer that I was going to get a ticket. I was on a bike path not on the road, and the offical rule is if a cyclist is on a bike path they must walk there bike accross the intersection. Fuck who does that! I usually drive on the road and therefore am subject to the rules of the road, yet I gladly take the opportunity to ride on a path vs fight traffic, but I havn't adjusted my habbits. As the report is taken I am reminded that I am at fault adn quested why I didn't walk my bike accross the streat. The women who didn't see me is subject to the same questioning. They actaully took my moms car insurance number and we trading insurance info as if this was a car on car accident. I took a perverse pleasure in the huge dent on the side of the womens car. i mean I was all cut and bruised and extreamly sore, I had to take the day off work, go to a clinic and buy some medication, at least I know I got her good!!! Good news thought the cop was kind and decided not to give me the ticket of $110. He said he would rather me spend that money on school then have to give it to the government. It pays to be kind to the cops.

As he was checking my bike for damage I was very happy that I hadn't put my new sticker on it yet, it is black, on one side it says one more bike on the other one less car, and in the middle it has a skull and cross bones and says death penalty to bike theives. Cops dont' like extreamists so one more thing to be thankful for.

My mom put my bike in the trunk and drove me to the walk in clinic accross the streat from our house, thank goodness for moms.

So when you look at me and say damn you look messed up, all I have to say is . . . you should have seen the other guy!

a few days ago I tried a new route home from work, I turned on this random st which lead to a dead end where if you drive on the last houses drive way you end up at a path that takes you close to my moms house. I was all excited about my find, I tried to explain to my mom where this random st was, I drew her a map but she was unsure. The next day on my way home from work I decided to take the same route and this time look at the name of the street so I could tell my mom. Well the name of the street is random st.!!!! I kid you not, I will have to take a pic with my digital camera when I get it and post it up here.

club district fun times or rapid racism
steph and I went out for pizza the other day and she told me about a discussion that has been happening on the essu listserve. This black guy when to Fluid night club on a Euro night and was refused entry by the bouncer, who happen to be black aswell. The bouncer told him that the owners didn't want any black people that night. In the discussion on the essu listserve another bouncer also black said that he agreed with this policy, basically he said that on hip hop nights the clubs have more problems of sexual aggression and violence, and on the euro nights they wanted to prevent those attitudes. Anyone who has spent time in the club district knows that sexual aggression in the clubs is not specific to any race. Sexism seems to breed in this enviroments and euro nights can be just as matcho as the hip hop nights. Secondly violence and fighting also seems to breed in this area. Alcoholism and masculinity are a bad combo. In a discussion on pot vs alcohol in terms of the harm to the person and society, I agrued that I could go down to the club district any night of the week and I woudl be sure to find at least one fight that resulted from alcohol and masculinity combination. The point being here that this again is not exculisive to one race.
This story remind me a time when this friend of a roommate was a bouncer at Money night club. One evening he was almost fired for allowing entry to a male with a turbin. This bouncer told me about how they are supposed to deal with this situation. When someone they don't want to enter gets to the front, they say we are only doing guest list now. If that person is on the guest list the bouncer is instructed to flip through the list and say that he can't find the name. So back to the story about Fluid, the bouncer was doing his job, he needs the job and can't afford to get fired but he does have a small amount of resistance when he tells the refused guy the reason for his refusal and doesn't allow this racism to be silenced.
So the question is what do we do with this information. We could start a letter writing campaign to the club managers. We could see about setting up tables in and outside the clubs talking about the sexism and racism. But here is another question is this our fight? We alread avoid this area . . . this is not our scene at all, are we informed enought to take this on. For example Marike who has been part of the hardcore punk community for 13 years is part of a feminist collective to fight sexism, racism and homophobia in the scene. They put on shows, have flyers at shows, and have just started the have workshops at shows. She can do this because this is her scene. I could not walk in as someone who has only dabbled into the scene and start making a fuss about equity. I would not have the information or the respect needed to make a change.
The blantent segregation, racism, classism, sexism and homophobia that is interwinded in the club district is a problem, a huge problem, they main problem as I see it now is those who are offended by it back away and therefore don't feel that it is there place to take it on. Those who stay don't seem to be speaking up. So do we as outsiders go in a make the changes?

The last two books I read were One for the money by Janet Evanovich and The Blue Place by Nicola Griffith. The first is about a women bounty hunter and the second about a women ex-cop who is doing PI work (and happens to be a lesbian!!). Both of these women are tough, they talk about being prepared for anything, always being on your gaurd, not living in fear but ready for protect yourself . . .anyways the irony is while I'm readying these books I get lost in them. I have been known to walk down the street and read at the same time. I get so drawn in that I'm not at all aware of my surroundings. Yesterday at work it had started to rain so I moved into the shed to stay dry. I was standing there reading the book and eating an apple, unaware that someone had walked onto the deck, it was 20 mins before closing and it was raining so I hadn't expected anyone. So when this women came up to me to see if the pool was open I screamed and then started to laugh. I don't scare easily but her sneaking up on my startaled the shit out of me. Maybe I should start taking these womens advice.

. . .I'm off to work now, i will finish this later. . .

Thursday, July 24, 2003

lazy or low tech geek moments

Its been way to long since I have posted, I just havn't found the time . . .and I can't do a proper post now cuz I have to run off to work . . .but look for crazy updates in the next few days . . . I have been writing mad poetry and have a few rants and a few funny stories. The creative juices have been flowing, but my method has been pen and paper, I am starting to become a low tech geek once again. BUT what I bought a lap top yesterday the tech geek is coming back :)