not a pretty girl

a new person with each new experience

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

cob web blogging

I'm sure no one will read this, since it has been months since I blogged. Life alters when you don't have internet. I was inspired by reddy starting a blog to create to update possibly create a new face for mine.

This new year brought many a changes into my world. There was a period after the much needed rest from ladyfest where I entered into a lull of nothingness. It is strange to see how you cope with a sudden lack of activity socially, politically and when both your work and college take a break. No classes, no meetings, no actions and . . . no money. I started to read like mad. I read this autobiography 'Living my Life' by emma goldman, although it was not an original copy personally signed by her *cough cough melissa* it did inspire me to want to take more action in my life.

This past summer reddy sent me an email saying something like 'You know you are an anarchist now its time for you to start organising'. It was said flippantly . . . but perhaps not! The point is that line must have stuck in my subconscious as I considered my different roots of action and started to further consider the WSM. When I went to my first meeting many people were laughing, jokingly saying they were disappointed. It was like I had given in to a cult that had been trying to recruit me. Ok not really but I had felt a sence of recruitment for months. It was not out of no where, I had shown interest in WSM and the people in it. I had read loads about the group, I suppose at first I was reading it to find out what reddy was involved with and interested in.

I remember the first day reddy mentioned to me that he was interested in joining. We were sitting in his bed reading NEFAC (North Eastern Federation of Anarcho Communists) magazine. A few friends had lent them to me thinking since I was Canadian and interested in anarchism. I would have to say reddy was more excited then I was at the time. Actaully loads of people were and they started to disappear as mates started to 'borrow' them. Anyways we were reading this article together on platformism. NEFAC like WSM is a platformist anarchist organisation and they were argueing for the merits of it. As we read the article I could deffinatly see the usefulness of that structure and well it seemed to solve many of the problems that I has seen in grassroots in my short time involved. When we finished reading it, reddy mentioned that fin and him were thinking about joining wsm, but to keep it hush hush.

A few weeks later I was at a party and chatting with a few of the wsm heads, I was challanging them on there gender dynamics, and how it might feel intimidating to join there group. We were talking about what stops people from joining (there were only 15 of them or so) and they told me that they had there eye on reddy and fin. *oh the look of happiness on reddy's face when I told me -that was real joy* From that day on they took my inquisitiveness as personal interest and have been onto me ever since.

GENDER that was the problem. There were only 2 women in the dublin branch and one in cork. I had a feeling that I was being recruited just because I was a women. At the meeting that reddy and fin were asked to join, niav and myself were invited aswell. I had a feeling they didn't even know my politics, the fact that I was a women and involved in libertarian politics was enough.

That held be back for ages as I looked into alternative things to put my energies in, the social centre, feminist collective etc. But the more I read and thought, the more I realised the remark reddy had made months earlier was essential. It was time for me to start organising. I felt that I couldn't just sit back and watch things happen. I had already moved away from just attending protests and events. I was starting to do more things myself and organise. The difference was I realised it was time to really stand behing my beliefs.

I mean I didn't want to get into the world of issolation with like minded people because that is not creating change. I felt if you feel strongly enough about change and had viable alternatives then you had to do something with them. It is possible as some hippies do to get away from it all and live in your utopian vission in a communune. OR other ones start food co-ops and get involved in direct action enviromental activism. Some anarchist like in squats, distribute zines and skip food. Not that those things are bad, its just that its the same as a commune. creating your own world that is suppose to be seperate from the capitalist structures, but the fact is you still have to rely on those structers and it is more productive to be attempting to change them then it is to escape them.

SO WSM, workers solidary movement . . . yeah I have been going to meetings. I havn't offically joined yet . . . you have to go to three branch meetings before you can be nominated. so far I have to been to 2 branch meetings and one national meeting. the third branch meeting I was to go to was cancelled and I missed out on being nominated . . . I feel like it could go all down low and I can avoid the embarassement of the nomination and acceptance. At the last meeting which was the national meeting I was able to vote on things so I don't know if people just assuem that I am already in or what.

I will have to continue this rant later . . . until then if anyone is reading this, I am about to start writing on another blog. Its a shared blog between a few mates.