fear

Since I have been here I have experienced may people feelings of fear around rocking the boat, wether it was around using the word queer on the positive space stickers, or "radical" language of the gender queer group, or supporting the alliance for choice, or rather even talking about supporting the alliance for choice. I have critisized others for being so fearful of breaking the norms and rules. I have encouraged others to be more active and political in there desicions and actions. yet today I have been found guilty of the same thing. So the saga continues on the positive space campaign. I have heard back from safety and its not an issue. I had a meeting with services and it seems to be an issue of building maintance and now I'm waiting on a meeting in front of the builiding council that will result in a big fat NO!! So where do we go from here . . . certain people are very much against breaking the rules as I went around and talked to people about doing it anyways there seemed to be a general sence of support. But know I'm the one who is scared.

I'm afraid that it will have a negative backlash on us, I'm afraid that they will be torn down. Now that I met with services and they have said NO, do I send it out anyways and just dont' send it to them. ahhhh!!! the union peps say go ahead with it, some proffs say go ahead with it . . . so what is stopping me FEAR.

I sent out an email and text messages to most people on the commitee to see if they have serious objections to going ahead with it. If I don't hear from anyone with objections soon I will phone and say print the stickers. But i do know that the welfare officer does have serious objecitons. ahhhh . . . I know I cna't let her stop this from happening. But there you go. I think ready is annoyed too by my fear, I don't think he gets it, the same way I don't always get the fear of others that I'm working with. I think most of where it comes from is that we from the start worked so hard to make it legite, and these people are taking that away from us. I know I should just make it happen not ask for permission, but in a sence I want to fight to win and not do this on the sly.

boyfriends are bad for blogging

and not for the reasons you might think . . . yesterday I started a blog called best days, class wars and clarity or something to that sort. I was making dinner and blogging intermittenly. while I was doing the dinner business I texted ready to see if he wanted food before the Doctors for Choice meeting. Not only did he want dinner he wanted to use my usb key and download articles, so no blogging, but I didn't shut it down I was ready to have this crazy long post. Then after the doctors for choice meeting and a pint at the student bar I suggested he come back to my place to study since it was hailing and he had his bike. But again that ment he needed the computer. after he left in the morning I was getting ready to blog when the power shut off in my apartment. Since my battery for my lap top doesn't work I lost it all ahhhhhh!!!!

what a day what a day . . . ok before I get back to best days, class wars and clarity, i have to rant about today. ok so this positive space campaign is coming together. I sent the sticker off to the printers today and edited the 5 page package that is going with it. I was prepared to have everything done and to start organizing the packages over the weekend.

I was doing so well on my schedualed plans for the day that when my power went out I was free to go help out with womens week without any stress. I put on the yellow womens day t, grabbed a bucket that said Dublin Rape Crisis Centre on it and started canvesing for change in the arts block. While I was there the welfare officer who is helping out with the campaign comes up to me and says that services (security) said that we can't put up stickers. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! there goes the whole campaign. She doens't seem to worried about it and only told me cuz I ran into her. She doesn't get that the whole point is to have a permant place on campus that only stickers can provide, that postcards or anything else are to temperary and wont' stand out to create the visability we are looking for.

I headed off to the LGB coffee morning like I do every tuesday and started to tell people who are on the campaign about the stikcer situation. This one great girl understood the problem with the lack of sticker. (shes not just great for that actually I really like her all the time, I even got her a copy of the new ani cd) anyways no one else say this as a huge issue. You would think after all the long fights we have had about adding the word queer to it that they would be more upset. Don't get me wrong they cared but they seemed satisfied with replacing it witha card of sorts.

I found out that services said that the reasons that we couldnt' do with were that "if we let you do that then we will have to let every group, anti-racist etc. put up stickers" . . . oh no don't ad colour to the concreate jungle that would be devistating, and letting those lefties run loose like that insanity (read as sacasticly as you possibly can). and the other reason was it was a safety issue. Really? saftey, guns don't kill people stickers kill people . . .

I phoned the head of safety to see the deal, while I was waiting for his call I got interviewed my this second year soc student on homophobia on UCD campus. While we were doing the interview it become much clear in my mind that I had to make this happen. So I phone the guy back and even though he siad no at first I expalined to him that this packages are going out to individuals that they would have the choice weather or not to put them up, adn we would not be plastering them everywhere. After talking at him for a while he agreed to see the package if I could get it to him by 5 . . .count down . . . I had to get the package to the entertianment officer before five who would then pass it on, it was 4:15.

4:16 tell the LGB Society auditor the deal
4:19 do a final collection of money for the Dublin RApe Crisis centre - try not to say Toronto rape crisis centre
4:22 give womens officer the bucket of money, tell her the deal
4:27 write this guy a letter
4:31 print off the package
4:36 find a folder
4:37 run back to the student centre
4:41 avoid eye contact with tons of peps
4:47 run in the door and hand the entertainment officer the package
4:48 give the welfare officer the update
4:51 chat with LGB auditor about sex

whoo that was close!!!

I didn't feel settled, what to do next, I didn't want to cave at all . . I walked towards class 30 mins early, thinking what to do next, I phoned ready . . .no answer . . . idea bling bling bling . . .I head over to the equality studies centre and go see my law prof, who is young, intelligent, really nice,a lesbian and extreamly supportive. I go and ask her adivice. She says dont' back down. (she is excited about the campaign and doens't want it to fall through) she gives me some good adivce and confidence. actually more the confidence, but she says the first arguement to use is the personal choice arguement and then she says to go straight for the kill with the support from both the registrar and the president (who we are getting letters of support from). From there we have the safey issue since there is none and she says to go with actually for mental health and safety it has been proven it is a better work envirnment when peopel are openly embracing diveristy and are anti-oprression orriented.

she says if all that fails she will come and talk to them with me. yeah judy!!!!