not a pretty girl

a new person with each new experience

Friday, December 19, 2003

mud is here!!

crazy as it seems the two of us are just chilln' eating, chatting, walking and doing everyday normal things, its as if we are in toronto but not at all. she was saying how wierd it is that everyone speaks english, traveling is not suppose to be this easy. if you are lost you just ask. signs make sence, menues make sence its almost like she is not across the world in a whole new country.

what seems even crazier then the emence comfort and happiness of having mud around is the lingering feeling of missing ready. We had been spended uber amounts of time together lately. adn now he is home for x-mas. It is all for the best, because if he was around then I would be feeling conflicted, I would be wanting to spend as must time with mus as possible yet I would be having this nagging urge to chill with ready . . . I wouldn't want either of them to feel like the third wheel type of thing. REady said that he would come back to town for a bit to say meet mud and watch father ted. I think one night with all three of us would be great, but I don't want anything to take away from the time with sarah.

we are looking at where to go for new years. If we had booked last week things would have been so much cheeper, but it was too difficult to try to figure that out with me writing exams, and the 5 hour time difference that resulted in us not being on MSN at the same time ever. So here are out options: all of them are direct flights from dublin basically from the 28-2 and all prices are in euros:

vienna 318
sanfran 1767.76
london 100.08
amsterdam 180.08
paris 180.58

yes sal we even looked up sanfran to see how crazy stinking rich we would have to be to visit you for new years. and well we would have to be bloody stinking rich!! we were wavering on where to go . . . since I had been to london and paris somewhat recently we were leaning toward amsterdam. how great would that be . . . but then the cost of accomidatoin came into play, not just the actual price but that we would have to bounce from one to another since everything is so booked over newyears. so the vienna option is looking extreamly appitising . . . the price seems from the outset much higher, but we would a place to stay, a tour guide and umm possibly food (shy look).

Sunday, December 14, 2003

new developments indead

after reading sals blog about working in production at a famous bondage/fetish store in san fransico my new developments seem almost unwothwhile mentioning. Nothing will be as exciting as a queer kid moving to queer mecca and within a few weeks working at a queer dream job. my new developments are quite the opposite of salvos queer world. so ready a few weeks ago had the talk differentiating between sleeping together and seeing each other. to my delight he was the first one to say that he felt that we were seeing each other and not sleeping together. Then last week he brought that converstion up it felt like he was going in the direction of boyfriend-girlfriend talk, but I was not ready to go there yet and he was not willing to put it out there and be rejected so it was left unsaid. But I realized I do refer to him in my mind as my boyfriend, and I have told a few people about him saying the words boyfriend just because it was simplier. Yet the past week it just became blatently clear that we arn't just casually seeing each other, that we do see a history in our relationship (not some crazy long term plan but a feeling that we will still be together throughout this year) SO I brought it up much like I did the first time about the sleeping together and seeing each other conversation. We started to talk about the diffianitions between the two things. When the deffinitions where out I said that I thought of him in my mind in terms of a boyfriend and not just seeing each other. He agreed and we happily embraced the term . . . then i sat back and said "you wont introduce me only as your girlfriend will you? or talk about me this people that know me as your girlfriend" ahhhh I suddently realized the implications on lost of identity these things could have. and although i really doubt ready would ever do either of those things (being an anarchist and all - the autonimist self being essential and distruction of hierachies) i still felt the need to clarify. and I was right he said the only difference in terms of using the term would be when people who didn't know me asked what he was doing tonight he would say going to his girlfriends house and not his mates house. that made me happy enought, there were physical threats of viollence if he started to refer to me as his girlfriend to mutual friends and aquantances.

so there you have it, I have a boyfriend, he is cool with the poly thing, but at the same time I think it will be a while before any poly worlds are truely explored, we are at the discusting stage right now where we spend devestationg huge amounts of time together, and never get sick of each other. There are only 3 nights that we didn't spend the night together in the past week and a half, but don't worry we did chill at some point of those days.

so other news . . .

this random guy found my blog the other day and it was slightly disconserting. I have not told anyone my link to the blog here yet, I really want people to get to know me first and not through my blog entries. I have been very conscious to this, so when this guy came up to me at a party the other day and said that he had found my blog (he didn't even know that I had one) it really shocked me, this guy ran the anti-deprotation campaign on campus - and he said he was doing searches online to see who was talking about it - and well I have posted about it a few times, so appartently my blog came up . . . with my face . . . and suddenly exposing myself unknowing to the guy who when ever he seeing me on campus points and says booo canada, or booo punks or just booo. how very strange indead the joker has more insight then the boyfriend!!