not a pretty girl

a new person with each new experience

Thursday, May 20, 2004

Its half three in the morning and for the second time tonight I woke up after a strange dream. In the first dream I was in this car that reminded me of this guys car from back home. There were tons of us in this small thing, almost like those clown cars except this thing was brown really old and rusted. We were on our way to an event and as we circled in the parking lot the only spot we found was next to this mob of protestors. Driving towards them they were making tons of noise and we had our arms out of the windows cheering them along. When I got out of the car I was trying to lock the front door - it was one of those locks that you have to close the door with the handle up, I had to do it a few times for it to lock, while I was doing that I felt nervous, everyone was looking at me. I felt that if I didn't lock it quickly they were going to steal the car. As I started to look up this one guy through a bucket of paint in my face and screamed blood on your hands. While he was doing this I caught a glimps of his face. It was this guy that I know to see but don't really know. His name is Patrick but in the dream it was Kevin. Anyways I somehow protected my face from the paint and it all went into my hair, which was then undetectable since it was the same colour of my hair. I grabbed his arm, looked into his face and said his name until he gave me eye contact. He was in shock that I knew his name and then he realised that I was not the person he was protesting against but was a fellow protestor. At that moment while I still had his arm two gardai come and they tried to arrest him. at first I did nothing still in shock that he had thrown paint in my face, then I got myself between him and the gardai and dearrested him.

then I woke up . . .

the second dream I was with this guy Finbar who is a good friend of ready's and works at the union. When I first met him I didn't like him. he can be moody and very intense. But over the year I have developed a soft spot for him. anyways the dream its not as clear as the first one but the two of us are together and wondering around kinda looking for a party. we stopped off at Adams gaff, who was the auitor for the LGBTQ soc this year. We chilled with him for a bit then off to this guy Alan's house who is in the union. (neither of these people are people that fin would chill with but he was in a great mode and was just up for a party.) when at Alans we talked about All Tomorrow Parties. he has said he had a horible expereince but after talking about it we concluded it was the rich fuckers that he was staying with not the party it self. he shows us this trick you can do with spit balls and bic pens and somehow it saved the sheep he went into the physics of it all. Fin and I then left his place and ended up in the random bed room and continued chatting. he showed me this trick where he rubbed his zippo on his stomach twice and then lite his cigerettes from that. He showed me how to do it on my hand. The vibe felt like we were going to score, but we ended up just chatting about life and jazz. The last thing he said to me before I woke up was do you ever go looking for parties?

now its five after 4, I best be getting back to bed perhaps to sleep perhaps to dream.

Monday, May 17, 2004

I got four new cds when I was in london and only paid for one of them. My favorite of them is nazis from mars! They are so much fun . . . seriously check them out. Clare told me today that these girls we know are thinking of doing a ladyfest in dublin in October and asked if I would help out. I really want to get involved, I will have to do most of the planning online since I wont be arround for the summer. I could ask nazis from mars come to lady fest!!! After walking clare to work, I went on a mission to find this one girl who wants to do lady fest. She works at the veggie resturant in town. she wasn't there but I enjoyed a yummie vegan breakfast reading an Emma Goldman book. Then I continued my journey to this new book shop that the same girl and her husband opened. But of course it is closed on monday . . . I do know where she lives but if she is not working or volunteering at the store, I'm sure she is taking a much needed day off. She lives in the space that use to be called space craft when it was a theater/community centre. They still let people use there space - it where we made the puppets for mayday and it is where they held the info shops with vegan cafe.

ok here is one of the songs from nazis from mars, imagine poppy punk and the girl has a dutch accent . .

I hate your government,
I hate your president
oh yeah! I hate them all

I hate kings and queens
I hate those human beings
oh yeah! I hate them all

and I am constant rebel
and I am constant rebel
and I am constant rebel
lets start riot!
lets change the world

I hate beourocracy
and your democracy
oh yeah! I hate it all

I like to be free
and (word I can't hear) anarchist
oh yeah! I like it all

and I am constant rebel
and I am constant rebel
and I am constant rebel
lets start riot!
lets change the world

I'm compleatley psyched about heading to vienna, I will have to read up more about it over the next few weeks, but I'm more excited about going to lady fest!! I was thinking about it and it was four summers ago when I went to the first ladyfest in Olympia. It was a great time, at the time I was starting a transition in my life I had only been into that music for a few months, and I was newly out and didn't know much about queer theory, gender politics, anarchy and such. I went to a workshop that talked about poly relationships, it was the first time I had a word for it. It was a great introduciton to that world. At the time I went to see the bands, say one film and went to a few workshops and a few parties. I was looking over the workshops, I know I would get more out of it now, there was no way I would have missed any of them. When I was there I was with a few friends and my girlfriend, my friends were big into ladyfest but my girlfriend was not all that interested. We spent time chatting, swimming, going on walks and so on. Leaving the first ladyfest I felt rejuvinated, I felt a strong connection with the music, the diy culture, genderqueers, the riotgrrl idea of feminism. ok and I have to admit it the girls themselves are so hot!!! I mean the week in olympia was filled with so much eye candy that my eyes were coated with suger. its better then just going to a show filled with cute girls. cuz at ladyfest you get to see how fun, creative, and smart they are aswell . . . damn cute I say!!

Sunday, May 16, 2004

masterbating in public
anarchist bookstores
recordshops with zines
you know what they are good for

excited vegan eyes
crashing on random floors
long walks and park writing
mini golf by the shore

humour and horror
and electroclash music
free tea and long trips
cheap movies and breakbeats

These are a few of my favorite things