fear

Since I have been here I have experienced may people feelings of fear around rocking the boat, wether it was around using the word queer on the positive space stickers, or "radical" language of the gender queer group, or supporting the alliance for choice, or rather even talking about supporting the alliance for choice. I have critisized others for being so fearful of breaking the norms and rules. I have encouraged others to be more active and political in there desicions and actions. yet today I have been found guilty of the same thing. So the saga continues on the positive space campaign. I have heard back from safety and its not an issue. I had a meeting with services and it seems to be an issue of building maintance and now I'm waiting on a meeting in front of the builiding council that will result in a big fat NO!! So where do we go from here . . . certain people are very much against breaking the rules as I went around and talked to people about doing it anyways there seemed to be a general sence of support. But know I'm the one who is scared.

I'm afraid that it will have a negative backlash on us, I'm afraid that they will be torn down. Now that I met with services and they have said NO, do I send it out anyways and just dont' send it to them. ahhhh!!! the union peps say go ahead with it, some proffs say go ahead with it . . . so what is stopping me FEAR.

I sent out an email and text messages to most people on the commitee to see if they have serious objections to going ahead with it. If I don't hear from anyone with objections soon I will phone and say print the stickers. But i do know that the welfare officer does have serious objecitons. ahhhh . . . I know I cna't let her stop this from happening. But there you go. I think ready is annoyed too by my fear, I don't think he gets it, the same way I don't always get the fear of others that I'm working with. I think most of where it comes from is that we from the start worked so hard to make it legite, and these people are taking that away from us. I know I should just make it happen not ask for permission, but in a sence I want to fight to win and not do this on the sly.