not a pretty girl


a new person with each new experience

Sunday, June 29, 2003

My first day back in Etobicoke, I'm quickly coming to realize how it is only part of Toronto by name . . . people here go on bike rides but don't ride there bikes to go places or do things. There are no bike lanes and no where to lock up your bike. People look at you like a freak if you are running errons on your bike,as if you some how failed them by not getting your licence at 16 and driving an SUV. It sad how I havn't even been here 24 hours and I'm already counting the days till I leave, the thing is its not like I don't get allong with my mom because we work together just fine. And its not like I live unbelivably far from everyone and everything . . . I can be at my old ap;artment in 20mins, its just that I kinda feel stuck here, I feel that I can't be sponaious. I can't just jump on my bike and be somewhere in 5 mins. The other day for example I biked to pride pub at UofT on my way to dinner with a friend. I realized that I forgot my bank card at home(so typical) adn biked back home . . .had dinner and went for a walk(never once wondering when the subway ended) and biked her home. .. when I got home I checked my messages and there was one from cbyb, I phoned him and biked over to his house. In the middle of the night I couln't sleep partially cuz it was to hot in his house so I biked home to my fan. NONE of these things could have happened if I was in Etobicoke.

In the evening my mom and I went on a bike ride in this path near her house, there were sooooooooooooo many little bugs it was disgusiting, I had my mouth shut the whole time and my helmet was being used as a defector, we decided to get off the path and bike home on the streets. On this adventure home we passed a pool that I use to work at, and that cbyb worked at the year afterwards, the year I met him. I had this sudden feeling of relief, I was sooo glad not to be working for the city anymore. Even thought I was promoted to suppervisor I can't deal with the people. I saw a few girls that I knew, all with long blond hair wearing little bathing suits . . .I'm so glad that I'm away from the extream heterosexuality faternity enviroment that is city pools. The hetersexism that is the norm in these enviroments is enough to make me sick. And the pool raids, don't get me started on the pool raids. I swear you would think we were up in western at a frat house with the stupidity that goes down. Needless to say my sence of relief came from my decision not to go back this year. I woulde rather be poor that have to deal with that enviroment again.

I'm not going to let living in Etobicoke get me down today, even thought I missed the pride events yesterday I'm heading down today in my boyscout uniform. It not like I would want to bike down to pride anyways . . .no where to park and with that many people you are just asking to have your bike destroyed. So here I go on day two back in Etobicoke, looking forward to seeing queer people everywhere. . . .

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