It has been so long since I have posted I felt overwhelmed today with where to start, so I decided to stick to 2 topics: Nudity and Mid-life crisis
Nudity . . . I have become more and more comfortable with nudity in the past few years, my own, others, sexual and non-sexual . . . I went to my first bath house about a year ago, althought I was excited to go it took much courage to actually get out the door. I wore a bathing suit for most of the evening and eventually took off my top. I think the fear here was that it was a sexualized space. I mean I was sitting in a hot tub, talking to this girl I met at a part a few days before, the party was a custume party, so I was supper confindent, now we were sitting here naked. Its too bad the pussy palce lost its licquer licence because a little drink coudl have really helped with that situation. I didn't have a problem with other peoples nudity but the sefl consiouness was holdign me back, but by the end I lost much of my inhibitions got involved in a iiol massage line and had sex with two girls.
Non sexual nudity, really doesn't seem to be much a problem at all, I talk about wishing that going topless was more socailly acceptable because on hot days I woudl like to be able to take off my top. Even thought it is legal people who were raised in our society have not been socialized to deal with nudity. I would not want to have to deal with the comments that would be directed my way. I have seen many of my friends in every stages of nudity, I have hung out with friends who sat there wearing but underwear on a hot day. I'm already use to seeing huge groups of nude women walking around (work) and yesterday I saw a few men who choose to wear nothing at the "clothign optional beach", while I was a teenager I would have be grossed out by all the penises hanging around. But yesterday I was compleatly at ease, I wanted to take off my top adn walk along the beach, I knew that it would be a safe space and that non of the other beach dwellers woeuld be making any comments, but I wan't very assertive with that thougth and the clothing optional beach journey was vetoed.
Although I am not a nudist, and I havn't ever been to a nudity collony(props to those who have --- you know who you are) I still am very nude positive and want to continue pushing my boundaries with nudity sexual and non seuxal-- public and private. . . .

Ok the next thought stream for the day. Mid-life crisis.... I really dont' like this term, I think it is a continuation of children not acknowling there parents as people. And a way to discrimmate against adults that refuse to work within the capitalist normative structure. As people we are always growing, changing, developing and learning. As people in our 20' and 30's [and some teenagers ;)] we are selves and people we know are out takign part of interesting, wonderful and exciting adventures. But when we see someone in there 40's and 50's doign the same we shout mid life crisis. It makes me think that we arn't as "left" as "progressive" or as excepting as we think we are. When ever I hear someone declaring an action is part of a midlife crisis, it amkes me feel that they are truely buying it to the system. I mean, by saying that someone in there 40's or 50''s are filling a role that they shoudln't at there age, you are then saying at a certain age it is inevitlabe we will have to become captialist corporate pigs, or at least saying that bohimiem or anarchy or activist have some sort of a timeline and as once as you hit that line you are too old to talk part in the revolution. In my world the best way to make change it to have everyone workign at it. to have more and more people who have joined the corporate world and/or sold there souls to capitalism to free themselves. To realize th at work is not life, that making moeny is not life, but life is experiencing, exploring and sharing these things with those around you . . . this rant is partially coming because my dad just returned from a 6 month travelign adventure . . . most people would WHY? WHAT is he doing? or say mid life crisis . .. I'm not saying all this to be defeinsive about him. But say that I see agism exist in the activist communities, as if only students are able to think outside of the constructed box. . . I jsut want to encourage more people to go and explore, experince and actually LIVE!!!!