This is the last post from UCD res, tomorrow I move out of here for good then start my mad adventures for the summer. My head has been all over the place lately, not really in a scattered way just in a way that I don't even know where to start posting.

The phrase everything happens for a reason as been the topic of conversation occationaly over the past month. I realize that when I say this, and I have been known to do so, I do it in momentary relief from stress phrase type of way. I have talked to people lately who also say this, yet they are coming from a religious or spiritual space where they truely feel that there is a destiny that they are to follow, a grand plan or other religous or spiritual reasons. I got talking to a friend of mine who is into channelling. It was strange to hear him talk about this stuff. I was a bit taken aback with some of the stuff he was coming out with. I knew he was into spirituality but channeling non human spirits to have a dialogue with and find clarity was a bit more then I expected to hear.

We got talking about the book the Alchamist. Regan gave me this book when I came to Ireland, it was given to her from her best friend from back home which was given to her by a good friend. This book is a fable that followings this shepards boy on his journey of following his destiny. What I get out of this book is the idea of following your dreams, and finding happyness by pushing forward, taking chances in order to reach your goals. What my friend got out of it is that when you are doing the thing you are suppose to be doing things fall in place for you, and when you are not doing what is in your destiny life gets a bit harder.

This type of arguement seems to me to go against everything we are studying in equality studies. People do not get into third level education and become lawyers for example because it is there destiny. They do not just make connections and get the great job, because they are where they are suppose to be. Lawyers in Ireland basically all come from the same three feader schools. The top lawyers knew each other growing up, they were able to get into third level, become lawyers, make connections and get that great job because of there class background and the social, cultural, and economic capital they posesed because of the location they were born into.

Like wise refugees in Ireland are not having a difficult time because they are not following there destiny. Rather it could be a dream of a Nigerian women that her child would not have to have the same genital mutilation she had and so that is why she is seeking refugee status. It is the racist immigration policy that is making her life difficult.

I do believe there is something more then just materialist explanations for things. I do wonder when it comes to love what exactly that is. But I don't think that there is just one or any number of people that are out there for you. Rather you might be lucky to make connections with people. Love can be analises in a materialist way in the sence that certain people based on there ability, class, have more opportunity to make these meaningful connections then the next person. A person with a servere physicial deformity becuase of our beauty ideals has less of a chance to be seen as a sexual being for example then the person who could be a model. Also a person who is a single parent working two part time jobs is less likely to have the free time and emotional energy that it takes to develop intimate relationships.

SO when I say that relationships need to happen organicaly its not that certain people are your destiny and that that relationship will happen naturally and all you need to do is let that happen. What I mean is that some people click better then others and that you should not have to force things to happen. Relationships do take work, but the work should not be the made reason the people are together.

And when I say that something was not ment to be, I'm not referring to something that was not part of your destinty, just that there are always other things you can do if something doesn't work out.

Perhaps I need to change my language so my words do not get misinterpreted as hippy spiritualism.